The Big Why Not
Neil Diamond was singing ‘Sweet Caroline,’ but the scene was grim. A bald (balder than me) man with a vicious temperament was giving chase with a machete while his cohorts threw knives. As his weapon came down on my neck, I fled the dream and flew straight up in bed.
‘That’ll teach you to watch Indiana Jones right before bed and skip dinner!’ I told myself.
It was 2:30 a.m. and I wasn’t going back to sleep. I’d gone to sleep early because the night before was another too-early wake-up and I had been physically and mentally exhausted.
That was a beginning to a day that included bad news after bad news. But still I wasn’t too concerned….
My lack of concern began to concern my mom and dad, my friends who knew me best, but it was par for the course. Life isn’t easy and I what I claimed to be peace of mind was actually calm detachment masking an internal tempest.
When I sat in front of Chad Hyams in a hotel lobby in Chattanooga, TN and he read my corporate life assessment to me I was a bit crestfallen. He told me I wasn’t suited to what I ‘wanted’ to do. I’m a teacher, a therapist, a counselor and a friend – that’s the bad news. I’m not a task-oriented, focused director with an eye firmly planted on the goal. LOL – anyone who knows me could have told me that, but a highly respected, articulate and accomplished person whose opinion matters to me had just said I was a comforter instead of a the task master. In retrospect, he was just the messenger and a half heard the message.
We all learn through repetition, since college my assessments have always said I influence people through friendship and enthusiasm, but that is the depth of it. There has never been a laser point that I aimed toward.
I can hear Doris Day singing ‘Que Sera Sera’ in my head. She lives there sometimes, singing gayly hoping to be rescued in that Alfred Hitchcock movie I saw 10 years ago. That was a very good representation of my attitude. Change or die.
The Biggest Why
Possibly without them knowing I’ve interviewed many of my more driven brethren and…sistern(?) about what drives them. The bigger the why, the more basic and easily stated it has been.
‘My kid is smart, but scholarships don’t cover everything;’ ‘There’s no old REALTOR’s home, and if there was I wouldn’t want to live there anyway!’ ‘I have never seen Asia, I have to go before I die.’
The message of the old book the ‘Four Hour Work Week’ resonated with me. Automate so you can do what you want. The philosophy of Michael Maher’s Generosity Generation and his ‘Seven Levels of Communication’ were my favorites. I absorbed that book page after page then didn’t apply any of it. Book after book on goal setting, time blocking, giving your way to affluence, approachablility – walking around with a ‘Hello, My Name Is @KnoxvilleRob‘ sticker was a funny and novel approach, not for me…
I already do what I want! Spend time with friends and their families, I make due and I always have something going. People come to me and it’s a good living. That was my personal philosophy, but I was a fool.
How can I be generous with my time, staring at a phone screen, how can I be generous with my funds on a limited budget? How can I positively influence people without accomplishing anything.
My big why isn’t going to Asia again, it isn’t being surface friends with my 3,000 Facebook pals, it’s being a genuine source of help to the real people in my life. 1) I have to have funds to take care of my parents who’ve seen me through 41 years of bumbling around and never failing to say they are proud of me and that they love me. 2) I’m going to be a dad – being single isn’t going to stop me. If I remarry and have a child naturally that’s great, if I adopt that’s great. If it’s a friend’s child who is hungry. Whatever the situation, I will be able to take care of some little person who needs a father and a mentor. 3) I will share my faith and philosophy as freely as my parents. I will help fund and be a Christian missionary. I will see the day when I know for certain that I have been a good and faithful servant of Jesus. If I get to the end without knowing I’d accomplished these three I’ll consider myself a heartbroken failure.
Since I was a kid I’ve said I wanted to be a dad. My dad and mom are paramount figures in life. They have exemplified all the love of God and have prayed and wept for me in the times when I needed it so bad; my Keller Williams family have shown me what they couldn’t – the foundations of business where systems and models provide a platform for my God-given creativity can flourish. Gary Keller’s chosen motto God, Family, Business sums it up! I didn’t want it to, but it did!